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Me and Jamie :’) (Taken with instagram)

WANT THEM ALL AZZA! haha 

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serenetranquility:

beautifulatmosphere:

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lawrenceisawesome:

If you like Mcdonalds..

Keep scrolling down your dashboard because this will put you off Mcdonalds for awhile - or maybe forever. 

So there was this girl who ordered a Big Mac. It tasted like the usual except more - tastier, crispier and more mouth watering. A few months later, her throat started tingling. It became itchy but she didn’t pay much attention to it because she thought it was nothing major.. A month later, She found herself scratching her neck and other body parts all the time. This resulted into insomnia. Stressed and irritated, she then decided to have an appointment with a doctor. The doctor said, “It will be fine. It’s just an allergy. It’ll heal in a few days if you rub this lotion on your body twice a day “. 

The girl did exactly that but the lotion had no effect whatsoever. Instead, her body became more, extremely itchy especially her neck. She kept scratching until flakes of her skin started to fall off. The next day, she realised some of her body parts were swelling and her neck was bleeding from the scratches. She became incredibly ill; It was evident in her appearance.. she was pale, she had many bruises.. So she went to the hospital and got an x-ray done. 

The x-ray explained that there was a cockroach egg capsule in that Big mac she ate a few months ago. As she ate the burger, the cockroach eggs hatched in her throat. They also found that the cockroaches crawled from her throat, then feeding on her organs and her body parts; hence the pale, swelling and bruised skin. Around 7 cockroaches grew in her body. She then had to surgically remove those cockroaches from her system. 

The surgery took at least 5 hours as the surgeons had to search for those 7 cockroaches that were crawling around in her body. They successfully found and killed 5 cockroaches but the other 2 cockroaches were babies so it was impossible to find and kill them. The girl had to wait at least another month for the other cockroaches to grow so that she can go through a second surgery to fully remove the cockroaches out of her system. 

After the second surgery, everything was well and she gradually became better.. BUT ! Female cockroaches produce egg capsules containing up to 16 eggs. So where was the other 9 cockroaches that were in that cockroach egg capsule in that Big mac she ate ? 

One day, She received an awkward 4 in the morning phone call.. from her boyfriend. He was in hospital, also infected by those nasty cockroaches. The girl thought it was another big mac that infected him as well but.. when she visited him at the hospital, the doctors explained that there were no burgers involved. The weird thing was, his penis was extremely infected by the cockroaches.. 

Then..the girl remembered she gave head to her boyfriend sometime after she ate that Big Mac 

His penis is where the other 9 eggs hatched.. which resulted in surgically removing his penis to exterminate the cockroaches. Unfortunately, the surgery was unsuccessful so the guy had to live the rest of his life without a penis.. 

 I got goosebumps after reading this..

i’m scared.. cuz my throat is itchy now :(

:’)

kinda makes you…. hungry :’)

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sophieinfragments:

originally meant for Tuesday but i doubt anyone will care.

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